Spinning
by Annabelle Crane
Summary: Wesley's life always seem to be coming undone. (Wes/Fred) (non-evil Fred) *Is down on her knees begging for reviews. PLEASE REVIEW*
1. Rain Falls Down

**TITLE**: Spinning  
**AUTHOR**: Annabelle  
**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own them. I just like to write. Don't sue, please!  
**SUMMARY**: Wesley's life always seem to be coming undone  
**DISTRIBUTION**: FanFiction.Net, Hello World: Fan Fiction Is Fun, anyone else please ask first  
**RATING**: PG  
**WARNING**: Very sad, but not evil Fred or evil Wesley at all.  
**THANK YOUS**: Many times over to MeriBeth and Candace, for being the best betas! 

  
**FEEDBACK**: Lots of it please! Send to Annabelle_felicity@hotmail.com

**Spinning** - Chapter 1: **Rain Falls Down **  
_by Annabelle_

Wind whipped around the tree branches making them bang against the windows of people houses. The sky was dark gray; much darker than it should have been, and rain streamed down the sides of buildings making the awful sound that one hears when their head is stuck underwater. It hardly ever rained like this in California, much less Los Angeles, which was part of the reason that Wesley Wyndham-Pryce was so happy to have moved there. After he had been removed the Watchers Council he could have gone anywhere, he could have gone back home to Aberdare, even if it was not his favorite place it was still home. Instead though he choose to stay in the "sunny" state of California and try to have some type of life, try to forget about things that had happened in the past, but as always was the way with him everything got messed up somewhere a long the way, and yet again he lost more than he gained.

Wesley slumped in the chair of his clean apartment and dialed a familiar number into the cordless phone that he had in his hand. He raised it his hear and waited for someone to pick up on the other side. Finally there was a pop sounding of the phone being picked up and a cheery voice spoke. "No," he told the person on the other line. "I won't be coming in today. Probably better if I don't since Angel and Cordelia are getting back. I don't feel like almost being killed again." He paused and listened to the voice on the other side waver a bit. "Don't worry about it. I'll be fine. I have plenty of research to do here. Call me if they have learned anything new though, alright?" The voice spoke once more and Wesley nodded into the phone. "Thanks, I'll see you tomorrow than. Good-bye." He hung up the phone and placed it slowly on a near by table. Then he leaned back and closed his eyes listening to the rain outside.

Part of him just wanted to block it all out, but he knew he couldn't. He had to sit there and remember, let it all wash over him, as it always did on days like this. The rain seemed to be getting louder and louder in his head until finally it was the only thing that he heard and that was when he started to picture what happened twenty-five years ago.

***

"You can't catch me," a girl's voice called out to him in a singsong tone. "I am much faster than you."

"And I am older and have longer legs," Wesley retorted. "Besides I am the Adare, Baron Adare, Baron Kenry, and Baronet Wyndham-Pryce of Aberdare."

"Yeah well I am the Baroness Scott-Williams," the girl kept running ahead of him not looking where she was going. "So there," she bumped to someone and squealed.

"Well hello there Baroness Scott-Williams," the older man looked down at her and laughed. Then he squatted down she he was out eye level. "And how is the daughter of The Right Honorable Lord Scott-Williams."

The girl giggled at his father, for some reason Wesley couldn't remember her first name, just her title, and that his father seemed very fond of her. Why, why was that? He couldn't remember, it had been such a long time; in fact it was probably the last time he ever saw his father smile at him.

"Wesley are you being a good host," Lord Wyndham-Pryce teased his son.

Wesley nodded vigorously at his father with a big goofy smile. "Yes father," he laughed a little.

"Liar," the girl half glared at him. "He is chasing me around Aberdare, and has been for the last ten minutes. He is trying to ruin my dress," she complained giving his father a sweet look.

His father nodded and stood back up to give them both a serious look. "Well that is a problem as now isn't it. Especially since we have a very important dinner guest coming tonight." He eyed them both carefully and then sighed. "Well Wesley you are simply going to have to loan the Baroness Scott-Williams some of your old clothes." The children just smiled at him. "Off with you then. I don't want to hear any complaints from cook about you and your friends trying to sneak food from the kitchen either. Understood?"

"Yes sir," the both replied beaming at him and scampered down the hall to head up to Wesley's room.

"Works every time," the girl giggled and tugged him up to his room. "Come on Wesley. I want to get out of this awful thing. My governess picked it out and she has no taste at all, not at all like my"

Wesley titled his head. "I thought we weren't going to talk about her anymore," he asked softly. "Because it makes you sad to think about it."

"It does," she nodded and leaned against the wall waiting for him to hand her some clothes. "But if I don't think about my mother than I'll forget all about her and I don't want to do that."

"I understand," he pulled out some old trousers and a shirt and handed them to her. "Off with them, Baroness Annette," he teased her.

"Off with you Baron Wesley," she retorted and waited for him to move. "Well go on then. I won't have you in the room while I change."

"It's my room," he said.

"And I am a guest," she turned away from him. "Now go!"

"You are impossible," he groaned at her. He opened the door and started to walk out. "Hurry up. William and Addy will be here soon."

"The faster you leave the faster I change," Annette stuck her tongue out at him. In one fast move she manages to cross the room and slam the door closed in his face. He could hear her giggling behind it.

***

Annette, Wesley thought to himself, her name was Annette. He knew why he had forgotten it for a moment, it was to painful too remember, but in truth he would never forget. Not really, she would always be there, the first shadow over his head and the one that would stay with him forever.

He shuddered as a drift came through the room making it colder than it already was. The sky had become dark, or at least it seemed so to him. He tried to stay in the present but the sound of the rain kept calling to him and he had no choice. Again the memories flooded him and again he sat and watched in horror.

***

"Children really," his mother said to them, "you shouldn't be going down to the river now. It will start to rain soon and you will get your clothes dirty."

"Oh Clarissa," his father chuckled. "Let them go, otherwise we will have glum faces to deal with all night."

"Richard's right," the Lord Scott-Williams. "Besides if they don't go out then Annette will have put on those old rags for nothing."

"Please Auntie Clarissa," Addy, one of Wesley's younger cousins begged. "We promise not to get dirty."

"Addy," the child's mother scold her. "Please try to be polite we do have important company coming tonight."

Clarissa finally gave in and laughed at them. "Alright," she sighed. "But no tracking mud in the house and as soon as the first rain drop falls I want you all inside."

"We promise," the children chorused and head to the door laughing and skipping.

"Come on," Annette ran ahead of all of them. "Hurry up slow pokes!"

"We're coming," William groaned at her. "I swear you don't act anything like a girl!"

"Oh," she scolded at him. "You are so lucky that you are wearing those clothes, otherwise you would so be covered in dirt right now!"

"Now, now," Wesley imitated the voice of Annette's governess. "Ladies always keep their temper."

Annette tackled him. "Who said anything about a Lady," she laughed dragging him to the ground with her.

"Come on you guys," Addy whined. "I would like to get to the river some time today."

"Were coming," Wesley laughed pushing Annette off of him. "Annette just has some pent up aggression that she has to get rid of."

"Ha, ha," Annette scolded at him. "Alright, let's go everyone. Before it starts to rain."

"Are you gonna walk across that log today Annie," William snorted at her. "Cause I am not going to move unless you do."

Annette's eyes flashed fear and hate at the same time and Wesley moved to stand between her and William. "Now come on Will," he warned his cousin. "You know she doesn't like to be called that, and she has a thing with heights."

"What," William continued to egg the girl on. "Are you scared of a little water?"

"I," she stammered. Wesley could feel her body shake and turned around to look at her.

"You don't have to Annette," he gave her an sincere look. "He's just being a prat."

William moved closer to them and Wesley turned to give him a warning glare, but William wasn't looking at him. "Yes you do," he sneered at Annette. "I dare you."

"That's not fair William," Wesley growled at his cousin who was only a few months older than him. "It's not a fair dare and you know it. The rules are that we can't dare people to do something that they are very afraid of."

"I am not afraid," Annette backed away from him. She set her eyes on William and gave him a fierce look. "Okay, I'll do it. But you have to do something big when I finish."

"Fine," he waved his hand. "But you have to go across the log and come back, with no one helping you. Standing, no hanging on to the log"

"William don't," Addy pleaded with her. "That's not nice. She's scared of that log."

"It's alright Addy," Annette smiled at the younger girl. "When I am done he will regret it, for the rest of his life."

William snorted, "I highly doubt that."

"Annette," Wesley whispered at her. "You don't have to do this. Besides it looks like it is going to rain any minute now, we really should be getting back."

She patted his arm. "It'll be alright. It's just a log, right? I've watched you, Addy, and William cross it a hundred times and you are all fine. I just will close my eyes, hold out my arms, and walk."

"Annette," he tried again but saw her determined look. "Alright, but just don't, don't close your eyes, okay?"

"I won't," she walked started to head toward the river with everyone else following her. "Let's just get this over with alright?"

The river was about average width, nothing special, but it had a strong current and on a day like today it could drag a person under and keep them there. Surrounding it was shore that Wesley's family sometimes used as a beach and there was a safe area roped of for people to swim in. There were also high walls of earth that went on either side of the river. At the highest point there was a fallen tree which the children called a log for lack of a better name. They loved to cross it just for a thrill; no one had actually fallen in. Mostly the just went out to the deepest point of the river and back just in case they did happen to fall, that way they wouldn't actually get hurt, but the only ever crossed on days when the current wasn't so strong that they could grab for the rope surrounding the swinging area.

When they reached the tree William walked up to the base and looked across to the other side. "So all the way across and back," he repeated himself.

"We heard you the first time," Wesley snapped at him.

Annette took off her shoes. "Now boys," she laughed at them. Then she walked to the log and looked down.

"Are you scared yet," William whispered into her ear.

"No," her lips trembled. "I am not."

"Good," William backed up toward Addy. "Go on then."

The wind started to pick up and was blowing around the girls' hair. Wesley's felt his own hair ruffle but he wasn't sure if it was from the wind or the fear he had for Annette. He walked up to her. "You don't have to do this," he told her again.

"A dare is a dare," she replied. "Help me up would you?"

He held out his arm for her to steady herself on as she climb up on the log. She cast him one last smile and then started out over the log.

"Don't look down Annette," Addy called out to her.

"No, do look down," William laughed.

Wesley hissed at both of them, "Just shut up would you?" He looked back at Annette, she had gotten out about a foot onto the log and was slowly making her way across, careful not to look down. She took another step as a rumble of thunder boomed across the countryside.

"It is starting to rain," Addy said in a fearful voice. "The log is going to be to slipperier, she has to come back."

"No," William shook his head. "A dare is a dare!"

"Don't be a git!" Wesley yelled at him. "You tell her the dare is off, and do it now. She'll fall down."

"No," William bit his lip. He was obviously slightly scared that Annette would fall but he was not going to back down to his younger cousin.

"William," Wesley gritted his teeth. "If it were you or Bernard out there I wouldn't care, but Annette isn't family. If she gets hurt we'll be in big trouble."

"That's a laugh," the older boy hissed. "Care more about some stranger than your family."

Wesley clenched his fist and stepped closer. "She is not some stranger, her family and ours have been friends for a long time. You know how mad our fathers will be if we let something happen to her. After her mother died, well we both know that her family can't sustain another loss."

"You act like she is going to die," William laughed. "No one dies from falling off a log."

"Annette," Wesley turned away from his cousins to call to her. "It is starting to rain, hard. Come back, the log is slick, plus we were suppose to go back at the first drop of rain."

"I can't," she called over her shoulder. "It's a dare."

He turned back to William and this time he punched him shocking his cousin enough so that the older boy fell to the ground. "Take back the dare," he growled.

"Not on your life," William hissed back from the ground.

The rain started streak down and it seemed as if the heavens had open up and dumped everything they had on down on them. Wesley tried to look for Annette but he could barely see her anymore because the rain was like a thick curtain in front of him. "Annette!" he yelled over the wind. "Annette, please turn around!"

She didn't though, he wasn't sure if was because she couldn't hear him or if she was just ignoring him so he did the only thing that he could think of, he went after her. He started to climb up onto the log and William tried to stop him.

"What do you think you are doing," William asked coldly. "The deal was that she had to do this with out any help."

"William would you just forget about the stupid dare," Wesley jerked away from him. "I am going out there to bring her back and you aren't going to stop me. Now shove off!" Wesley hoisted himself up onto the log and started to walk out to Annette ignoring any looks from Addy and William. "Annette!" he tried to call out to her again but she did not turn around

He watched slowly walk away from him, she was almost at the middle point of the log and he knew that he was going to have to hurry if he was to get to her before she got out much further. "Annette," he screamed at the top of his lungs but still she did not turn. She kept inching her way further from him and enough though he was forcing himself to move as fast as he could without slipping it still felt to him like everything was moving in slow motion.

"Annette," he moved closer he knew he was in hearing distance but she still did not turn.

"Annette!" he reached out to try to grab her hand this time.

"Annette!" That's when it happened. It couldn't have lasted more than a moment but to him it seemed like an eternity, she turned to look at him and she stepped on a piece of wet moss. She was opening her mouth to say something to him when she started to titter and fall away from him, her eyes wild from fear. He saw her mouth was open but no sound seemed to be coming out of it and ever so slowly she reached her hand out to him and he grabbed it.

"Please," she begged him. "Don't let go."

Wesley looked down at her. She was hanging over the river, the only thing preventing her from falling was his grasp on her arm. When she fell her weight brought him down to his knees and he knew that he was lucky that he did not fall in with her, he also knew that he was not strong enough to pull her back up. "It's going to be alright," he lied.

"Wesley!" Addy screamed at them. "We're coming Wesley. Hang on!"

"No," he yelled back. "Go get help. Hurry!"

"Wesley," Annette gasped a little. "I'm slipping."

"No," he shook his head at her. "No you're not. I have you. Everything is going to be alright."

The rain splattered across her face and mixed with her tears. "I'm going to fall," her voice trembled.

"You're not," he spoke with forcefulness. "You are going to be fine. Addy and William are going to get help. It is going to be fine."

The wind around them started to pick up and the rain beat against them so hard that it felt like small sharp rocks were being pelted at them. Wesley could feel his arm start to get tired and his grip loosen. He would have reached out his other hand and tried to pull her back up but if he did that he wouldn't have been able to keep himself balanced.

"Just hang on," he said. "Some is coming. Listen." In the distance he could hear his father calling to him. He felt the weak vibrations of someone else stepping on to log. "Look," he told her. "My dad is coming now. It is going to be fine."

"I don't," Annette's voice was soft and then she screamed. "Wesley! Don't let go. Please, don't let me fall!"

It was too late though. Her hand kept slipping out of his because of the rain and in a last attempt to hold on to him she grabbed at his signet ring but it just slipped off his finger and she fell down to the river screaming so loudly that it was the only thing that he could hear. He felt his father wrap is arms around him and pull him up from the log. Wesley hadn't realized that he was struggling against the older man, trying to break free to go after her, not that it would have helped, and she was gone, forever.

The days and weeks that followed were awful. His mother wouldn't come out of her room and his father wouldn't even look at him. The river was dragged three days in a row but nothing was found and the Baron Scott-Williams seemed to have gone mute, no one could talk to him although Wesley had tried. Addy and William would sometimes travel to visit with Wesley but the visits were often short and awkward. Eventually though things started to settle down and five years later the Baron Scott-Williams remarried a woman who had children of her own and as more time passed people started to forget about Annette, everyone except for him and his father.

When he turned sixteen his signet ring was replaced in the most unceremonious way, he was sitting at the dinning room table talking with his mother about unimportant things when his father walked in with a stagger in his step and the smell of alcohol about him. He flung a velvet box at his son's head and missed by about two inches. Wesley's mother stood up and started to scream at him but all he did was yell back at her and then stumble out of the room leaving them there just to stare after him. Wesley picked up the box and raced up to his room with his mother calling after him. He opened up a drawer and threw the box inside and was so unsatisfied with the noise that it mad that he slammed the drawer shut with suck force that vase sitting on top of the dresser was knocked to the floor breaking into tiny pieces that scattered across the floor. A tear slipped down Wesley's face slowly and he made his way to the closet in his room. Quietly he opened the doors, slipped inside and started to feel the wall for something. He managed to find the loose panel that he was looking for, pushed against it, and reached inside. Feeling the soft material under his fingers he made a grab for it, pulled it out, and slumped against another wall of the closet. It was Annette's dress, he had hid it there so no one would find it and he would be able to keep it for himself. He held it against his cheek and let the silent sobs rock his body, it was his entire fault, it always was.

***

Wesley felt the same tears against reach his lips and did not try to fight them. Instead he slumped further into his chair unable to stand he slowly let himself slip to the floor and curl up in a small ball and he stayed that way for several minutes until he stopped shaking. Finally he stood up and made his way to his bedroom where he went to his closet and found the box which he kept some of his things from Aberdare in. He bent over to pick up the box, brought it to his bed where he sat down and placed it to the right of him. Carefully he pulled back the flaps of the box and looked inside. There were pictures of his family from his childhood, various letters from Addy and William, papers from his mother, and the box that held his signet ring. He reached and pulled the box out rubbing his fingers over the velvet lining to try to calm himself. He dug a little further into the box and found a scrap of cream-colored silk fabric. "Annette," he whispered to himself as the pulled out the fabric from the box.

He took it with him to his desk and rummaged round for an old picture frame that someone had given him. Popping the back of the frame open he took out the picture that the company had put in and threw it into the trash. He smoothed over the piece of fabric a few times, then placed it in the frame, and replaced the backing. "I won't forget again," he said to the picture frame. Setting it on his desk he sat back a little and looked at the piece of fabric. "I promise, I won't forget," he repeated and just stayed there looking at the frame as the rain continued to pour outside.  



	2. Nurture Remorse

TITLE: Spinning  
AUTHOR: Annabelle  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own them. I just like to write. Don't sue, please!  
SUMMARY: Wesley's life always seem to be coming undone  
DISTRIBUTION: FanFiction.Net, Wishing Hearts, Hello World: Fan Fiction Is Fun, anyone else please ask first  
RATING: PG  
WARNING: Very sad, but not evil Fred or evil Wesley at all.  
THANK YOUS: Many times over to MeriBeth for being the best beta! 

FEEDBACK: Lots of it please! Send to Annabelle_felicity@hotmail.com

**Spinning - Chapter 2: Nurture Remorse**  
_by Annabelle_

Fred watched him walk quietly into the hotel at an incredibly early hour.  She wasn't surprised by it though, the fact that Wesley wanted to avoid Angel and Cordelia couldn't surprise anyone, they hadn't been very nice to him. Although there was the fact that they were blaming him for Connor being taken, which wasn't entirely his fault, because if Wesley hadn't taken Connor and left him there Holtz would have killed the baby or taken him, and if Holtz took him then he would have been stopped by Wolfram and Hart and then Connor would have been killed.  No one understood that but her, or at least it seemed that way.  Gunn was still edgy around him, but she was starting to think that had to do more with her renewed friendship with Wesley rather than the fact that Gunn was mad at him about Connor.

Without making a sound, she carefully walked down the stairs and moved to stand in the doorway of his office.  Fred watched as he pulled out some papers and started to work.  It was true that he was no longer the boss but Gunn, after some pushing from her, had said that he really didn't need an office and since Wesley was the paper guy it made more sense for him to keep it.  Besides, Fred knew for a fact that Gunn never liked offices; he said they made him felt walled in.  Slowly Wesley picked up a heavy sliver pen and started to drag it across the paper.  He was always working, reading, searching, and trying his hardest to find a way to bring Connor back.  Sometimes she wished that she hadn't told him that the prophecy was a fake, she did it because she was mad, not at him but at Gunn.  She had been hurt and she wanted someone else to hurt as well, it was completely selfish but it was part of what made her human.  But she couldn't take it back, not that it would matter, the prophecy was still a fake and they still had to find a way to bring back Connor.

"Hey there," Fred said in a quite voice.  She flinched a little when she saw him jump and his pen fly up.  "Sorry I didn't mean to scare ya."

Wesley took in a deep breath.  "No," he shook his head.  "It's alright.  I am just a bit jumpy today that's all."

She looked at him then moved to go sit in the chair in front of him.  She put her elbows on his desk and used them to prop up her head.  "Why," she asked.  "Is it because Angel and Cordy are back?"

"No," he chuckled.  "Well that is part of it, but there is something else.  I can't explain it."

"You'll figure it out," she stood up and looked at him.  "Have you even eaten today?"

"Fred," he sighed.  Then he saw the look she was giving him.  "No, I haven't."

"Wesley," she shook her head at him.  "Alright I am going to the dinner.  When I come back you and I are going to have breakfast.  You know you are suppose to be the smart one."

"What's that suppose to mean?" Wesley was taken aback by her comment.

"Nothing," she shrugged and stood up.  Then she tossed him a look over her shoulder from the door of the office.  "Just that you should know that you would think better on a full stomach rather than an empty one."

"Alright," he rolled his eyes.  "I give in."  Then he eyed her.  "Shouldn't you be having breakfast with Gunn?"

"What," Fred whipped around and half glared at him.  "That's not funny Wesley."

"I am sorry," he gave her an apologetic look.  "I am just having a really bad day that is all."

"But it hasn't even started yet," Fred looked at him.  "How can you be having a bad day already?"

Wesley pushed back from his desk.  He wanted to tell her, to tell someone, anyone.  Looking over at the picture frame, which held the fade piece of cloth, he had placed on the desk he sighed and shook his head.  "It's nothing," he forced a smile.  Fred tilted her head and he sighed again.  "Alright it is something but I don't want to talk about it.  I mean if I asked you how things were going with Gunn lately you wouldn't want to answer that question either."

Fred frowned and then an idea came to her.  "Yes I would," she turned around again.  "But after I heat up some Chinese food for us."

"Fred," he called after her.  "It's eight o'clock in the morning!  We can't eat Chinese food now."

"Says who," she answered back from the refrigerator that they kept behind the desk.  "Now do you want Chicken and Cashews or Beef Lo Mien?"

"Beef," he replied grimacing a bit since he knew she could see him.

Fred popped the containers in the microwave and then went back to stand in the doorway of his office while the food heated up.  "But you hated that Beef Lo Mien, actually you aren't that fond of beef for that matter."

"That's not true," he picked up his pen and started to look over the papers.  "I happen to love Beef Lo Mien."

"Whatever," she shook her head.  "That's just too bad for you cause you can't have it."

"What," he looked up at her.  "But I thought-"

"I was just askin' to be nice," Fred shrugged and went back to the microwave when it started to beep.  "I want the Beef Lo Mien."

"Liar," he huffed.

She laughed at him.  "Right back at ya," she smiled.  Then she handed him the Chicken and Cashews box with a fork in it.  "So things with me and Gunn huh?" Fred carefully chose her words as she chewed.  "Well," she swallowed her food, "they couldn't be any worse.  I mean honestly Wesley, he doesn't understand half of what I say.  I mean I know we aren't going out cause he dumped me and all, and yeah sure we were trying to work on getting back together but I don't know.  What happens when I leave Angel Investigations and go back to my work as a physicist?  When we to go to parties at the Dean's house?  He is just going to feel so uncomfortable.  I don't know maybe things are just better the way they are."  Fred looked at him and saw that he wasn't eating his food.  "Well eat, or I won't tell you anymore."

"You have to," he teased her.  "I am your surrogate brother so by law you have to tell me what is going on with your life."  Then he picked up his fork and started to chew, it was a good way for him to hide how he was feeling.  "Go on then."

Fred chuckled.  "Wesley, you could never be my surrogate brother," she saw him frown and quickly added.  "It would just be too weird."  She ate some more and then started to talk again.  "The thing of is, I am tried of having to explain myself to him in three different ways.  And his jokes, well they are just getting old."

"His jokes are old and you are sick of explaining yourself," Wesley bit his lip to keep from laughing.  "Those have to be the best excuses I have ever heard for breaking up with someone, or rather staying broken up with them."

"Oh," she growled.  Then Fred took some a bit of noodle from the Beef Lo Mien and flung at him.  "How about, he sold his soul and we almost had to deal with Angelus, and he broke up with me in the first place, without telling me why!"

Wesley thought about for a moment.  "Well I guess those are better," he put the food down and looked at her.  "But really Fred, to be serious.  You should be sure that you aren't going to regret this.  You don't want to spend the rest of your life going, if I only had said something a half second earlier."

"What does that have to do with anything," Fred gave him an odd look.  "I haven't said anything yet and when I do say something, saying it a half second earlier won't matter."

He bit his lip because he realized what he had said.  "Nothing," Wesley shook his head. "Sorry getting advice tactics mixed up, giving the wrong advice to the wrong person, that was for Cordelia not you."

"You are unbelievable," she put down her food container.  "I should just leave you know.  I am highly offended that you tried to pass of advice for Cordelia on me.  We have to completely different situations."

"I know," he apologized.  "I am sorry.  How can I make it up to you?"

"Tell me why you are having such a bad day," Fred said quickly.

"You're trying to pull one over on me," he snorted.

Fred gave him an innocent look, "Am not."

"Why do you insist upon lying to me," Wesley gave her hurt look.  "You wound me."

"Whatever," she rolled her eyes at him.  "Now I told you what was going on with me and Gunn so you owe me."

"Do I now," Wesley laughed.  "You told me about Gunn of your own free will."

"Did not," she hissed at him.  "It was a trade, fair and equal.  I told you about Gunn and you tell me what is buggin' ya."

"You know your accent becomes more pronounced when you get upset," Wesley tried to distract her.

She shook her head.  "Nope," she said firmly, "not gonna work.  Now tell me what's wrong."

"What's wrong?" Gunn asked from the doorway.  "Everything okay Wes?"

"Everything is fine," Wesley smiled at him.  "I was just telling Fred the same thing."

"Oh," Gunn nodded.  "Well then, hey!  Fred, you ate.  I thought we were going to breakfast."

"Huh," Fred turned around and grimaced at him.  "Oh, I'm sorry Gunn.  I forgot.  It was just Wesley hadn't eaten and well, never mind.  I am sorry."

"It's cool," Gunn grumbled.  "Just call next time so I can get something before coming in."  He turned to leave, "I'll be back in a while.  Gotta eat."

"Sorry Gunn," Fred called after him.  Then she turned back to Wesley.  "Do you think he bought it?"

"Bought what," Wesley eyed her.

Fred sighed.  "That I forgot about breakfast," she said in an exasperated tone.  "I mean, never mind."

"You keep saying that."

"Cause I mean it."

Wesley gave her another look.  "So you know how I feel when I say that I don't want to talk about what is bothering me?"

"You aren't getting out of it that easy," Fred shook her head at him.

"Hey," Cordelia ducked her head in the office.

"Brother," Fred sighed.  "Hi Cordy, yes Wesley is here, no I am not going to tell him that you never want to speak with him again, and no I am not going to let you pretend that Wesley is a non person, if you want to talk to him then do it yourself.  Same goes for Angel."

"Geez what's with you," Cordelia huffed and walked away.

Fred watched her go and started to fume.  "Unbelievable.  Honestly, they just don't understand anything, all they want is blood."

"It's understandable," Wesley whispered.  "They lost a lot."

"They would have lost more if it wasn't for you," Fred grumbled.  "If Connor had stayed Angel would have to watch them kill Connor.  At least now we have some chance to get him back."

Wesley tried to smile at her.  "You are grasping at straws, Fred," he shook his head.  "The truth is we don't know what would happen.  And the point is that what did happen was my fault."

"Well I don't want to hear it anymore," Fred said firmly and picked up a book from his desk.  "Nothing gets done by dwelling on the past."

"Yes," Wesley nodded slowly.  Her words hit him more then she could realize.  "Sometimes," he paused to look at the frame with the faded piece of fabric in it.  "Other times though."

Fred looked up from her book and reached out to him.  "Wesley," her voice was soft.  "There is nothing you can do now to change it.  You just have to focus on trying to moving on, not just in the sense correcting past mistakes, but also in the sense of letting go of them so they don't consume you and make you blind to possible solutions."

"There is just so much," Wesley hung his head.  Then he looked at the fabric and heard a voice in his head.  'I am sorry sir,' a policeman had said.  'We just cannot find the body.  The river had been dragged over and over.  There is just no sign.'

'What does that mean,' Wesley father had asked.  'Does that mean that she could still be alive?'

'I don't see how sir,' the policeman nodded.  'But we have to keep her case open.  It is part of protocol but I wouldn't expect anything.'

"Wesley," Fred called to him.  "Wesley, are you alright?"

"Huh," Wesley shook his head.  "I am sorry.  I was just lost in thought for a moment."

"Wesley," Fred took his had from across the desk.  "What is really bothering you?  I can tell that it has nothing to do with Connor, it is something else, isn't?"

Wesley was a little taken aback.  "It is nothing else," he told her and pulled his hand back.  "Can we just get back to work?"

"Fine," Fred sighed.  "Be that way."  She took the empty containers and dumped them.  Then she settled down and started to go through book after book with him.  Several times she caught him rubbing his hand over his face and squinting at the words but she didn't say anything.  She knew that he didn't want to talk about it, she would make him later but not now.

Finally after a few hours Angel ducked his head in and said hello to her, but not to Wesley.  Wesley tried but Angel just ignored him.  "At least he didn't try to kill you that time," Fred gave him a weak smile.

"We can be thankful for that," Wesley sighed and then picked up another book.

Fred sighed and closed her book.  "I think we need new books or something," she reached for another one.   "I am not finding anything.  Just stuff that we already know."

"We just have to keep looking that's all," Wesley started to skim.  "If we have to go through ever book that we can get our hands on then we will.  And if that doesn't work then I'll put a call into the Watcher's Council."

"How is that going to help," Fred rolled her neck a bit.  "They don't like you and you aren't a member."

"They will have to," Wesley sighed.  "Connor is a key player for The Powers That Be and the Council works for the Powers."

"You are going to hold that over their heads," Fred looked at him.  "That doesn't seem like leverage to me."

Wesley did not look up he kept skimming.  "If I have to I will bribe them, beat them, anything, so long as they help."

"Wes," She warned him.  "That is not going to help things, and you know it."

"Yes," he nodded.  "But it will make me fell better.  Besides I always thought that Quinten Travers would look better with a hole in his shoulder."

"That is awful," Fred grimaced.  "I might just have to make a transatlantic phone call to the Scotland Yard and tell them to keep an eye out for you."

"Scotland Yard," Wesley chuckled.  Then he dropped his book.  "Scotland Yard, of course!"  He picked up the phone and started to dial.

"Wesley, what are you doing?" Fred moved and hung up the phone.  "You can't just call Scotland Yard.  First of all, Gunn'll kill ya for making a transatlantic phone call for no reason.  Secondly, what does Scotland Yard have to do with Connor?"

"Nothing," Wesley shoved her hand of the phone.  "They have nothing to do with Connor, and I have a calling card.  Now would you please leave me alone for a second?"

Fred shook her head.  "No," she stated flatly.  "Something is going on Wesley and you need to tell me what it is.  You don't want things to turn out like they did last time."  As soon as she said it, she regretted it.  "Oh Wesley," she gave him a sad look.  "I didn't mean it like that.  Honest.  I just meant, well I just meant.  Wesley it's just that."  She paused and took a breath.  "After last time they don't want you to keep things from us anymore, you aren't the boss so you don't have that privilege, I am sorry Wesley, it wasn't my idea, but in a way they are right, now is not a the time to be shutting us out."

Wesley put the phone down and sunk into the chair.  "You do realize that I will still make the phone call when I get home," he didn't look at her.

"Yes," she nodded.  "But I am hoping that you will let me be there, to help you."

"I don't think that Gunn would like that very much," he forced a smile and tried to lighten the mood.

"I don't care," Fred sat back down.  "He doesn't own me.  I am my own person and I can do what I like."

Wesley chuckled.  "Try saying it with more conviction next time."

"You are terrible!" She moved to swat him and then stopped.  "I am just going to ignore you for the rest of the day.  And that's that."

"Alright then," Wesley laughed again and picked up the book he dropped and started to go through it again.  He could feel her looking at him sometimes and hear her huff every now and then but he kept silent and so did she.

***

"Dinner," Fred called out around quarter to five later that evening.

"What," Wesley looked up from his book.  "Hey I thought you weren't talking to me for the rest of the day."

"The day finished at four-thirty this afternoon cause we started work at eight," she put her book down.  "Now you are going to take me out to dinner, because I am hungry and you owe me for making fun of me."

"Fine," he pretended to sigh but then laughed.  "Where do you want to go?"

"Anywhere but Chinatown."

"Sounds good," he stood up and let her walk in front of him.  "Chinese food twice in one day is a bit much."

"That's for sure," Fred nodded and stopped just before she ran into Cordelia.  "Hey Cordy," she smiled.  "Haven't seen you all day."

"I've been busy," Cordelia didn't look at her.

Fred nodded and said with a little wonderment, "Oh."  Then she gave Wesley a look.  "With what?  Washing your hair?"

Cordelia whipped her head around and looked at Fred's smirk.  "How dare you!"

Fred was about to make a very nasty remark but someone came through the door.  It was a young man and he was dressed in uniform that made him look like he was from some state mental ward.  "Excuse me," he gave everyone a confused look.  "I am looking for Wesley Wyndham-Pryce."

"Um," Wesley spoke up.  "That's me."

"Good," the man sighed.  "We found you.  I was starting to worry.  Tell me sir," he reached from something in his pocket.  "Does this belong to you?"

Wesley stared for a moment.  Hanging from a thin gold chain was his old signet ring.  At first he did not believe it and looked at it more closely but his second look made it clear to him.  Carefully he stepped closer to the where the man was dangling the ring, as if he was afraid that it would disappear.  He slowly reached out his hand and touched it.  "Where did you get this," he asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

"From someone I am hoping that you will know," the man handed over the ring.  Then he pulled open the hotel door.  "Hey Luke," he yelled.  "Bring her in, the ring is his."

Fred and Cordelia moved closer to Wesley and watched as another man dressed in a similar uniform.  He was leading a young woman dressed in old clothes whose head was bent over and covered by a mass of thick brown slightly curled hair.

"Come on now then Jane," the man spoke softly.  "Just through the doors and you can stop."

"Jane?" Wesley asked him.  "I am sorry I don't know any Jane."

"Well I don't think her name is really Jane," Luke said as he pushed back her hair from her face.  "The truth is we don't know who she is and we were hoping you could tell us."

Wesley was frozen.  He couldn't speak.  There standing before him was someone who looked so familiar, but it couldn't be.  She was supposed to be dead.

The policeman's voice from twenty years ago went through his head again, 'I am sorry sir.  We just cannot find the body.'

But there she was, or at least someone that looked like her.  Standing there right in front of him.  She was so changed though.  Her eyes were hallowed and she looked very pale.  There was no smile on her face, no glimmer of the happy girl that she once had been.  It was like she was just a shell of a human being.

Finally he stepped foreword and reached out to touch her.  "Annette," he asked softly.  "Is that you?"


	3. Soft Screaming

**PLEASE NOTE: There is no Evil Fred here, this is actually kind of sad and more along the lines of what I normally write.**

TITLE: Spinning  
AUTHOR: Annabelle  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own them. I just like to write. Don't sue, please!  
SUMMARY: Wesley's life always seem to be coming undone  
DISTRIBUTION: FanFiction.Net, Wishing Hearts, Hello World: Fan Fiction Is Fun, anyone else please ask first  
RATING: PG  
WARNING: Very sad, but not evil Fred or evil Wesley at all.  
THANK YOUS: Many times over to MeriBeth for being the best beta!  
FEEDBACK: Lots of it please! Send to Annabelle_felicity@hotmail.com

**Spinning** – Chapter 3: **Soft Screaming**  
_by Annabelle_

"Annette, huh?" Luke said.  "So that's your name."

Wesley kept staring at her.  "Well, I'm not sure.  I mean they said she was dead, they never found the body, and it's been so long, and…"

"Show him the mark, Luke," the first man spoke.  "She's got a little mark on her neck."

Luke moved to pull back her hair, but Wesley stopped him.  "May I?" he asked.  Luke nodded and Wesley moved closer to the young woman and pushed her hair back gently over her left shoulder.  "Now," he said in a soft tone, "just let me tilt your head to the right."  He applied a little pressure to her head and she let her head be moved so that her ear was almost touching her right shoulder.  "Not that much," he pulled her head back a little to the left.  "You don't want to get a cramp in your neck."

Once he had her neck in the right position he lightly ran his finger over a small scar.  "She got this when we playing by the shore of the river."  He could her the strain in his own voice and could feel the tears start to build.  "She slipped on a rock and nearly scared everyone half to death cause they thought she silt her throat, but the doctor said that she was fine, just a deep cut and the mark would always be there."

"Always thought that she was a trouble maker," Luke chuckled.

"How?" Wesley stammered.  "How did you find her?"

The first orderly sighed.  "It's a long story but it goes something like she was shipped around from hospital to hospital in England with doctors trying to find someone in their area that might know her.  Didn't work and someone got the brilliant idea ten years ago that she might be an American, although they couldn't tell for sure cause she couldn't speak."

"So they sent her to New York," Luke continued.  "Her official name is Jane Doe 5, or at least that is what all her papers say.  Not sure how but some how the managed to get her past passport stuff and costumes, probably cause she was a Jane Doe.  Anyway when she got here she was shipped around again.  She has been to a total of 10 state mental wards since she got here, they each kept her about a year before sending her off to the next one."  Luke to a breath, "In two months Doc Carlson was going to have to send her to another hospital but Jimmy and I got it into our heads that we could try to trace her through that ring that she was wearing around her neck."

"Yeah," Jimmy agreed.  "Guess those people in England thought that she stole it or something cause they never bothered to try to do a search using it.  But Doc Carlson knows people at the FBI so we had him call in a few favors and then started looking around the Santa Monica area for anyone by the name Wyndham-Pryce."

"We all thought she was gone," Wesley mumbled.  He wanted to reach out and hug her.  "Annette, please say something.  Anything."

She just whimpered a little and went back to cling to Luke's arm.  The whole time she never made eye contact with any one just stared through them all.  "It's alright Jane, er Annette," Luke told her.  "You know him, he's your cousin?"

"That's right Annette, you remember me," Wesley held his hand out to her.  "She is catatonic?"

"Yeah," Jimmy said.  "She's better than a few years ago, one might mistake it for autism on one of her good days.  Other days she'll just sit in the middle of the room for hours rocking herself back and forth."

Ever so cautiously she moved closer to Wesley, but Annette still refused to make eye contact, she kept her head to the ground with her hair covering her face.  She took his hand and Wesley let out a breath that he hadn't realized that he was holding.  He wrapped his arms around her so carefully almost as if he was afraid that she would break.  For the first time in his life he felt a strange sense of peace come over him.  Maybe Annette was not the same as when he last saw her, but how could he expect her to be, all that mattered was that she was here with him and he could be the friend and family that she needed and deserved.

"Um," Jimmy spoke softly.  "Mr. Wyndham-Pryce there a few things that we need to talk to you about."  He looked at Fred and Cordelia who were standing there in shock.  "In private."

"Of course," Wesley let go of Annette and took her hand.  "We can to in the office."  He started to lead Annette towards the direction of room watching her the whole time, completely forgetting that Cordelia and Fred were there.  "Come on, Annette," he smiled at her.  "I have a nice big comfy chair that you can sit in."

Cordelia watched the men and the catatonic woman walk into the office with her mouth hanging open.  "Okay," she finally said.  "What just happened?"

"I'm," Fred started after the people who closed the office door behind them.  "I'm not really sure."

"Since when did Wesley have a cousin?" Cordelia started to get anger.  "A catatonic cousin for that matter?"

Fred shook her head.  "I didn't know he had a cousin at all," then she paused.  "Well, I mean I knew that he probably had cousins but he never talks about his family so I wasn't sure.  And I-"

"What I wanna know is," Cordelia interrupted her.  "Why does his catatonic cousin have his signet ring?  Why does he have a signet ring?  What is it for?  And how come he is acting like he hasn't seen her forever?  And what made her catatonic?"

"I don't know," Fred said watching Wesley in the office.  He had sat Annette down in his chair and he was kneeling next to her.  Periodically he would look away from her to nodded or say something to the men from the hospital.  Then they handed him some papers.  "What's he doing?  Is he signing her release forms?"

"Like I know," Cordy started to inch closer to the office.  "I am going to find out though."

"Cordy," Fred hissed at her.  "Don't do that!  First of all, it is wrong.  Second of all, you are always saying that you don't want anything to do with Wes!"

"This is different," Cordelia hissed back and waved her to be quite.

Fred went and grabbed her arm.  "Cordelia, it's not different," she pulled the other woman back from the door.  "You have no right to spy on him just because you have suddenly decided to take in interest in his life.  You and Angel have been acting like he doesn't exists for a month how, and I can understand that from Angel but you, you weren't even here.  So back off."

"What the hell is your problem?" Cordelia jerked away from her.

"You are my problem.  You, Angel, Lorne, and Gunn, all of you are my problem," she nearly screamed.  "All you do is ignore him and make him feel worse than he already does.  Should he feel bad that he lost Angel's son, yes he should.  But we aren't getting anything done by pointing fingers at him or by not helping him find a way to bring Connor back."

"Are you completely blind," Cordelia felt like slapping Fred.  "He is the reason that we have lost everything that matter.  If he had just told us-"

"If he just told us what?  That Angel was going to kill his son," Fred yelled this time.  "What would you have done if he had told you?  Probably the same thing that he had done or worse.  You might have decided to lock Angel up, or maybe you would have just let Angel take Connor."

"Fred, you don't know what would happen," Cordelia glared at her.  "None of us do."

"No, I don't," she huffed.  "But chances are that Angel would have eaten Connor.  They were spiking his blood with Connor's for crying out loud.  Angel even said that he was starting to look like food.  If Wesley hadn't taken him, god only knows.  That or Holtz would have killed him or even Wolfram and Hart.  Ya all can tell me that that there is no way to really know but the truth is that Connor would have died that night unless Wesley took him.  You know it and so do I."

Cordelia turned away from her.  "I don't feel like talking about this with you anymore."

Fred snorted.  "No, of course not," she forced a laugh.  "Because god forbid that you ever admit that you were wrong or that you should be held to blame for what happened.  You weren't here so how could it possibly be your fault.  You were to busy thinking about yourself to notice that the was something wrong."

"If I was to busy, then so were you," Cordelia snarled.

Fred nodded, "Yeah, I was.  But at least I can admit it."

"Excuse me," Jimmy ducked his head out.  "Umm would you ladies mind terrible going to another room.  You're making Annette nervous with all the yelling."

After giving Cordelia a look to silence her Fred turned to him.  "We're sorry," she smiled.  "We'll stop."

"Thanks," Jimmy closed the door and went back to sit down.  "Hopefully that will help."

"I am really sorry," Wesley said.  "They have just been going through a lot lately."

"It's alright," Jimmy nodded.

"Yeah, just try to keep her away from them," Luke laughed.  "Sorry bad joke.  Still she doesn't like yelling, so soft even tones."

"Got it," Wesley nodded.  "So even tones, medicine always at the same time, be patient, anything else?"

"I think that's it," Jimmy handed him a few slips of paper.  "These will keep her into the next month for her meds and when she starts to run out just call us.  Doc Carlson will probably want to see her every now and then, but he'll call you about that."  He picked up the papers that Wesley had signed.  "If you have any problems or anything," he pulled out a list of phone numbers, "you can call these people at the hospital.  It has a list of times that they are there so you know who to ask for."

"Thanks," Wesley took the list and looked over it.  Then he put into another folder, which he had just grabbed to file all of Annette's papers.  "So I can take her home?"

"Yep," Luke smiled.  "To tell you the truth I am glad.  Hopefully this will help her and it will mean she can stay in one place from now on.  But you don't umm live here do you?"

"No," Wesley shook his head.  "Why?"

"I saw that cabinet of weapons as we came in here," Luke said.  "Not a good idea to have sharp objects around her.  She doesn't really comprehend them, like everything else.  If she sees something she likes, she'll go after it without thinking if it is sharp, dangerous, or the like."

"We'll only be spending a limited amount of time here," Wesley said.  "Besides the cabinet is baby proofed.  But that is a long story."

"I can tell," Jimmy laughed.  "We do have to get going though."

"Of course," Wesley stood up and helped Annette out of the chair.  "Come on Annette, you'll want to see your friends off."

Annette again let her eyes turn to the floor and let herself be guided around.  Go this way, go that way, follow this person, don't follow that one.  It was all very simple, very uncomplicated and she liked things that way.  Although lately things were starting to get a little bit more difficult, feelings were starting to be processed and that she did not like.  She watched as two familiar sets of feet started to walk to her and felt a hand on her chin.

"Alright then, Annette," Jimmy said.  "It's time to say good bye."

She whimpered a little and pulled away.  He was touching her and putting feelings onto her, she didn't like that.

"Don't worry," Luke chuckled.  "You'll still see us every now and then."  He picked up her hand and made her wave good bye.  "That's it.  Bye Annette."  He put down her hand and nodded to Jimmy.  "Remember call if you need anything," he said following Jimmy to the door.

"Thanks," Wesley smiled at them and made Annette wave again as they walked out.  Then he took her hand and started to turn around intent on going back to the office to pick a few of his things and take her home until saw Cordelia and Fred standing there staring at him.  "Um," he looked at them.  "I have to be going now.  You won't be able to reach me tonight."

"Oh no!" Cordelia stood in front of him so he couldn't go to the office.  "You aren't getting off that easy.  How come you never told us you had a catatonic cousin?"

Wesley sighed.  He took Annette and sat her down on the round couch.  "Stay here," he told her softly.  Then he stood up and looked at the other women.  "She is not my cousin," he said simply.  "Her family and mine were very close.  Twenty-five years ago when she was eight she fell into a river and we never found her body.  After about seven years Scotland Yard closed her case, Interpol too."

"Wait, wait, wait," Cordelia waved her arms around to stop him.  "I know that in the movies all we hear about is Scotland Yard but I thought they just international British criminals, same with Interpol."

"That's not quite true," Wesley stammered.

"They'll work on cases of a missing person if that person is from a high enough profile family," Fred finished for him.  "Isn't that right?"

"Yes it is," he nodded.  "Anyway we were all sure she was dead.  I don't know how she managed to hang onto that ring.  And I don't really understand how they got her to the United States, but she is here now and I am going to care for her."

Both Fred and Cordelia were silent but then Fred spoke up.  "Who was she really Wesley," Fred didn't look at him.  "Who was she to you?"

"She was my best friend," Wesley said.  "I never forgave myself for letting her fall into that river and now I am going to make it up to her."

"What," Cordelia sputtered.  "You let her fall into the river," she started to yell.  "You didn't even try to stop her."

"I tried," Wesley yelled back.  "I had her in my hands.  It was raining and she slipped.  I tried.  God knows I tried."

"Obviously not hard enough," Cordelia hissed.  "She's catatonic for crying out loud!"

"Stop!" Fred screamed but not at them.  She raced over to where Annette was kneeling on the ground.  The young woman was reaching out her hand to touch something that Fred had been working on, a new weapon of sorts that had very sharp edges.  Fred tried to grab for her but Annette started to howl and cry at her sudden movements.

She scuttled across the floor to hug Wesley's legs.  She kept whimpering and started to shake.  "It's alright Annette," Wesley helped her up.  "Shh, it's okay now."  Then he turned to glare at Fred.  "You shouldn't have yelled at her," he said.  "She could have hurt herself."

"That's what I was trying to prevent," Fred retorted in a slightly nasty tone.

Annette was not claiming though and Wesley knew that the long day that she had was starting to take its toll on her.  "We are going now," Wesley told them in an icy tone.  "If there is an emergency you can call my cell phone."

Wesley took Annette to the office and quickly gathered the papers he would need.  Then he took his coat from the hanger and wrapped it around her.  He took her hand again and directed her back to the lobby.  "Good night," he told Fred and Cordelia and headed to the doors of the hotel.

"Wesley," Cordelia started.

"No," Wesley told her without looking back.  "I don't owe either of any more information than I have given you, now good night."  Before they could respond he ducked out of the hotel and headed to his car with Annette.

"It will all be alright now," he told her strapping her into her seat.  "I promise, it will all be alright."


End file.
